One Fortunate Cookie
Earlier this week one of the halogen light bulbs in my dining room chandelier exploded, spraying glass fragments throughout the area and toward my living room. It was actually a very frightening, loud explosion with smoke billowing from the light and glass flying in every direction. That night I swept up the affected area and I’ve kept the light off since due to the exposed wires.
So this weekend I made a call to a friend to seek help. I hate having to flat-out ask for help! But since the exposed bulb wiring was a hazard if the light was switched on and I couldn’t reach it, I had to seek assistance. My friends immediately agreed to come over today.
We planned to have lunch together while they were over here as well, since we had been trying to plan time to meet up these past few weeks anyway. What ensued from their willingness to come over to help was a delightful meal and good conversation — something I didn’t have in mind when I humbly sought out their assistance. It’s these surprising times in life that catch me off guard that turn out to be the finest moments of my days.
When Vince and Julie arrived, Vince went to work on the light and Julie and I began working on the meal. Julie chopped up a variety of fresh vegetables for a stir-fry while I cooked the rice, lit the barbecue and baked eggs rolls in the oven. Add in some barbecued elk meat and fortune cookies and we had a filling, tasty meal!
At one point in the process of preparing the meal, Vince was vacuuming the carpet near where the light had exploded (something I’d not taken time to do yet) and Julie was cooking the stir-fry. I stood back in amazement, taking a minute to recognize and to be thankful for the great friendships that I am blessed with. When was the last time you had guests over that ended up cleaning and cooking for you? (Yes — it was just last weekend during my parents’ visit for me, but I digress…)
When I made that call to get help yesterday I felt like I was imposing on my friends in asking them to come up for an hour or two to help me out. Instead, after thoroughly enjoying our time together and telling each other as much, as these dear friends left this afternoon I couldn’t help but realize what a blessing we’d been for each other.
Although one of the fortunes in the cookies I ate stated that tomorrow was going to be a good day for me, I couldn’t help but pause and think what a great day today had been. My, oh my, I am one fortunate cookie!
A Tired and Worn Body
In less than a month I turn 33 years old. Thanks, Mom and Dad, for the early birthday gift to remind me of this impending milestone.
33 isn’t really a big deal, in my mind. Yes, it’s approaching the mid-30s, but the thought of it has yet to strike me as problematic. What has struck me is how my body feels more tired and worn these past few years as I’ve crossed over into my 30s. I realize this is not all that unique — all of us age and feel the effects.
Newspaper clipping of me playing ball as a child
I also realize, though, what great bodies and minds we’ve been given as human beings. Given enough time, effort and training, we can adapt to most anything. As a child I learned to write with my feet at a young age and I often participated in neighborhood games like baseball and football by holding the bat or football between my shoulder and chin and throwing the baseball with my feet.
However, as I get older, I’m becoming more aware of the body’s ability to wear out when you use it for abnormal purposes. The past couple of years I’ve experienced pain in my right knee; my predominant leg. I use this leg for most daily activities such as eating, shaving, etc. and the bending and flexing at weird angles has been hard on my knee. The doctor has asked me to limit my activities with that leg (climbing stairs and the like), but I really don’t have an option to significantly cut down on motions where I bring my foot up to my head or mouth.
This is one of the harder facts of life for me — my body is wearing out quicker than most due to the daily strain of reaching, grabbing, and clutching that I do with my feet. I’ve got physical therapy exercises that would help as well, but I rarely complete them. At some level, I still like to think that I’m invincible. That is until my knee starts throbbing after a long week. (Typing is not a helpful action for my knee, either. See the note about the illusion of invincibility just above!)
So, weekends like this one are most welcome. The past couple of days my parents visited from eastern Washington and that meant extra help and a relief from some day-to-day tasks. I used to think of this as being spoiled, being lazy or proving that I was not independent. As I get older, though, I’m beginning to see that accepting help is none of those things.
My parents love helping by taking a shopping trip to Costco with me, cooking and cleaning up, helping do laundry and any other various projects that I need help with. Yes, as I’ve said here before, I do need help! Having my parents visit is proving more valuable the older I get.
I guess I’m maturing with the passing years. Every so often I still find myself trying to do things on my own when others freely offer help, but that’s simply built into my spirit as it’s what has helped me become the man I am today. Old habits die hard.
Thanks, Mom & Dad for all your help! And, thank you friends for your support both physically and emotionally. Believe me, this old man appreciates it!
Beginnings and Endings
Beginnings and endings are where we wrestle the most.
Our struggles center around creation and death.
So many days my breath is taken away by your creation.
The mountains, trees, lakes and the sun glistening off the Sound.
It’s curious, though, this fascination.
I see so much beauty in the nature you created,
but when I look in the mirror I don’t see the same.
Instead, I see a God that was absent.
You knit me together in my mother’s womb, right?
You tell me that know the number of hairs on my head,
but you missed the arms.
Were you there?
Did you miss me passing by on the conveyor belt of life?
Or, did you actually choose to create me this way?
“It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,”
you answered, when asked why a man was born blind.
“This happened so the power of God could be seen in him.”
I’m not comfortable with a God so sadistic and selfish.
But, maybe that’s who you are.
Or, maybe you’re loving and you grieve my wounded body alongside me.
So many of my questions for the Creator remain unanswered.
Death is the other bookend that leaves me struggling with you.
You took her so young; only 54 when the cancer consumed her.
She was my best friend and I was Grandma’s Little Angel.
So many traits I’ve inherited from her – enjoyment of flowers and planting,
and foods that I could have only learned to love from her.
My Grandma Phyllis was not perfect, but her love for me was.
I miss her.
An impression is made on a young boy feeling so frightened;
helpless to aid his Grandma “Phil” while she lay convulsing from seizures.
Not able to open a door or to reach the phone.
To not be able to do anything for a friend in need sets you down a path;
a path to never be caught off guard again.
So, I’ve learned to be prepared,
to not get too attached,
to not give my heart fully.
Because if I do, you may take that away from me again.
Stuck between beginnings and endings is where I live.
A frightened boy, living in a wounded body.
Afraid to make a move, scared to take a risk.
Paralyzed by the fear that you won’t meet me there.
Yet, you’ve met me so many times.
You’ve brought me safely thus far,
So bring me safely again.
Lord, let things end so that you can create anew.
A Weekend of Lessons
This past Friday I made my way from the wet side of the state, over the mountains and to dry and windy Kennewick. Tomorrow marks my grandfather’s 80th birthday, while my dad’s 60th is today. Happy birthday to two great men!
Grandpa, Dad and my nephew Braden
It’s been great to be back here for a family reunion of sorts and to enjoy family from up and down the West coast. This past Saturday we gathered to honor my grandfather’s 80th birthday with a surprise party. He was totally shocked, as the setup had been that he was attending a surprise party for my dad! We had fun, told stories and laughed together – it was a day of hallelujahs.
But, more importantly, I was impacted by several things this weekend and here are the main lessons I’ve learned over these past few days:
– 80 years is a long time, but longevity is not the measurement of a man. My grandfather was an adventurer, a successful business man and a man who has built a beautiful home and maintains a meticulous yard and garden. But, those things do not define Bob Perry. It was clear that it is the bonds of family and friends that mark this selfless man’s story. So many people told of his efforts to help them in times of need – mowing lawns, roofing houses, helping with car repairs.
For me, it was his endless hours spent with me after leg-lengthening surgeries through tumultuous teenage years. Not only was he there, he cleaned pins in my legs, made me do physical therapy exercises and took trips to doctor appointments in Seattle with my mom and I. To be aware of needs around you and selfless enough to help is the true measure of life.
– All of us need to be surprised once in a while. Not too many of us thought we’d pull it of, but my grandfather showed up expecting a party for my dad’s 60th. He had no idea we’d pulled the old switcheroo on him. The look on his face as he came through the door was priceless!
I tend to anticipate everything as to not be caught off guard and it runs in the family. As my mom and I arrived ahead of the party she said, “I sure hope he shows a little excitement or emotion when he arrives.” But, then she added, “I don’t show that often, so we’ll see if he does.” The moments of surprise and spontaneity are the most memorable to me and this was a great reminder of my need to be surprised and caught off guard.
– The bonds of family can make you laugh harder than you have in months. The grandkids on this side of the family all got together for drinks later in the evening and the stories and jokes that were told were priceless. Even though we may not all be together that often, the laughter flowed and we had a tremendous time!
– ALWAYS show up for an important family gathering. If you don’t, you may end up being the center of attention for the wrong reasons. Looking good, Uncle Ron!
– I took a couple days of work in order to extend my time with family. My brother, sister-in-law and their kids are also staying at my parents’ house this weekend and the kids’ moments of love, disappointment, joy and play are amazing things to witness. My niece and nephew continue to show me what it truly means to be alive – something many of us adults forgot how to do years ago. I hope to take a little of their passion back to Seattle with me today!
– Getting work done with so many family members is difficult, even more so without internet access. That’s the reason for this delayed post. And, it will be the reason that I return to work tomorrow having not completed a single task over the long weekend. But, as I learned from Grandpa this week, people won’t remember me for completing the org chart. Instead, hopefully it will be a weekend remembered for connection and relationship.
– Leaving doesn’t gets easier with time. Saying good-bye to family members today was as hard as ever, especially when my darling niece and nephew are involved. It was a bit hard seeing through the tears for the first mile or two.
– The sunsets is eastern Washington are breath-taking.
Sighs & Hallelujahs 